Consumers Order Boxes of Poop Online, Shocked to Receive Boxes of Poop in Mail

Sometimes, people just don’t get it.

When the makers of the notoriously funny Cards Against Humanity game decided to pull their flagship product on Black Friday last month and mock American holiday consumerism by offering up 30,000 boxes of bullshit online for $6 apiece, people snatched them up swiftly—the poop was completely sold out within 30 minutes of going on sale. Which is fine, if you wanted to buy a box of real poop. Apparently, many buyers didn’t.

We’re just not sure how anyone can be surprised. The wildly successful and darkly comical social experiment made it as clear as possible that CAH was, indeed, selling poop. Here’s some questions and answers—posted in 24-point Helvetica, not fine print—from the ordering page people went through to buy their boxes of poop.

  • Are you selling any of your normal products today? No.
  • Is this actually poop? Yes.
  • Is it also something that’s not poop? No.
  • Can I return it when I realize that it’s actually just poop? No.

CAH even went so far as to tweet doubters. When one woman tossed into the ether that “my favourite Black Friday purchases are … whatever I bought from CAH,” the company replied, “it was poop.” The game’s founder, Max Temkin, summed the whole thing up nicely: “If you buy the poop expecting it to be something else that’s not poop, you’re actually buying a valuable life lesson for $6.”

And yet, and yet, and yet. As the boxes of poop started arriving in the mail, somehow consumers were still surprised to receive boxes of actual shit.

“Didn’t think you would but you did,” one fool tweeted. “I was sure they meant it figuratively,” another dolt said.

Welcome to the Internet, newbies. And Merry Christmas.